How to Balance Wok Life & Motherhood
I’ve been a stay at home mom off and on for about 4 years now. I was a stay at home mom for a year before I finally decided to return back to work. I was back and forth with the decision all the way up until orientation day. I love working and I love staying at home with my kids but I carried guilt with each one. So I decided to do both because why not? Now I question myself all the time on how to handle it all because don’t get me wrong, it can be very overwhelming. But I have found some tips and tricks and friendly reminders to make it a little easier to balance.
The first one is going to be the biggest, don’t guilt yourself. I guilted myself when I was staying home and I guilted myself when I returned back to work. JUST STOP! There’s no need for the guilt trip. Remember you are doing everything that you need to do to make your kids happy, as well as yourself, and there is no room for guilt in that equation.
Now that your time is a little more limited, especially on your days off, or on mornings before or evenings after work, it’s okay to say no to things you genuinely don’t want to do. You don’t want to go to a friend’s house for dinner? Don’t go. You don’t want to go to multicultural night at your child’s school? Don’t go! It’s okay. Spend your time and your energy in the areas that mean the most to you. If you want to spend all day curled up the couch with your kid watching Disney movies rather than cleaning, then just do it.
Ask for help when you need it. I am terrible at this and always have been. It takes a village to raise kids. Embrace your village. Recruit your village for help. We actually hired a nanny to help out. She’s really good with Jaxon and she has been able to get Jordan to do her homework in the afternoon without hesitation and we don’t come home to a destroyed house. She helps out 2 days a week and is a life saver. We also call my sister occasionally to watch the kids for a date night. Whatever the area you need help in, just ask, and keep asking until you get it, because you can’t do it all, all at once, and alone, and that’s okay.
Self Care, Self care, and I’ll say it again, Self care! When you are stretched many different ways, you need to be able to take a step back to take care of yourself. That can be working out or taking a yoga class, getting a manicure, reading a book by yourself for a few hours, or even 30 minutes! Whatever it is that fills your cup, do it, because you can’t continue to pour into others when your cup is empty.
Accept that perfection doesn’t exist. You are not going to be a perfect working mom. There will be times when you forget the homework, forget the lunch money, forget to pick up diapers, forget a project was due at work, or that a meeting was today, and I’ll say it again, THAT’S OKAY! Slip ups are going to happen but as long as you are putting your heart and soul into everything, celebrate those wins when you get them. No matter how big or small, celebrate every single one!
And remember to stop comparing yourself to others. You are not your coworker, you are not your son’s friend’s mom. You are you and that is all you can be. It is easy to get consumed in the false portrayal on Instagram, and Instagram was made to show the good. Just know that each person is human and that they may be having a hard day, a hard week, or they even may be comparing themselves to you. Regardless, just stop all of the comparison regardless. It only drags you down.
At the end of the day balance is just recognizing what matters to you and your family, what works for you and your family and when it works to celebrate it. When it doesn’t go back to the drawing board. Life is a learning process and balance is one of the hardest processes to figure out. Regardless you’re doing a great job.
Love & Light,