One on One Time with Multiple Kids

One of the hardest things I have found in being a mom to multiples is spending enough time with each of them. It's so easy to get wrapped up in one child and realize you've "forgotten" another. Especially when there is a significant age difference.

Studies have shown that a minimum of 10 minutes a day of uninterrupted, one-on-one time with each child is enough time to fill that child's cup and continue to support your relationship. That means no other children, no partner, no phone, work, or tv as a distraction. You let the child pick the activity and lead. You are simply engaging and being present.

There are many other ways to squeeze in this "special time" with your children by allowing one to go to the grocery store with you, one to walk the dog with you, one to run an errand with you or cook with you, etc.

Each of my children gets their ten minutes of one-on-one time each night since we have staggering bedtimes. We typically read, talk, do a puzzle, or draw.

Then each child has a special day.

For my oldest, who is 9, we have girls’ night. Every Friday night for 2 hours, we pick out a special treat, do nails & then either watch a movie or work on a craft or project together. We talk, laugh, and just really enjoy each other's company.

For my middle, who is 3, we have Wednesday mornings. We either go on a walk together or we sit in his room and play whatever his heart desires. Lately, it's been restaurant or superheroes. I pretend to order food or I'll dress up like an Avenger but I am fully present and go all-in when playing with him.

For my youngest, who is 1, we have Saturday mornings together. My husband does Saturday morning cartoons with the others and since she is still too little, we play in her room together. We cuddle, read books, play with blocks, whatever she gravitates toward.

Depending on schedules and nap times and appointments, some get more one-on-one time than others, but with us having designated days to spend quality time together it gives each of them something to look forward to.

It's helped us continue to grow our relationships and tame tantrums.

If I notice a child is acting out more than usual or they just seem like they need a little bit more of that undivided attention then I give it to them.

It's been a long work in progress for us but we've finally found something that works for us.

How do you balance time with multiple children?

Love & light,

Jalesa