Postpartum: The Importance of the First 40 Days
Mothers need just as much attention as a newborn because they too have just been born.
It’s very easy to develop that mentality to where you have to “bounce back” after having your baby. It seems to be a competition of who can get their old body back the quickest or return to work the fastest. It’s like nobody understands the importance of slowing down anymore.
As a woman who just went through 9 months of pregnancy where your body has grown, stretched and changed in ways it never has before, “bouncing back” should not be a top priority. Rushing back to work or losing weight after growing a human being should not be a top priority.
Believe it or not, bouncing back and a rushed recovery only does more damage than good in the long run. You think you feel good now but your body may not heal how it was intended to. You may experience prolonged bleeding or even complications with getting pregnant in the future. (Disclaimer: this is all from personal research I’ve done, I am not a doctor and this is just opinion from my own experiences and research).
Many generations of women who live in India, Asia, Europe, etc. believe in the importance of allowing the body to heal, catering to the mom and allowing mom and baby to develop a beautiful and healthy relationship.
Warm foods are prepared. Herbal medicines are given. Warm baths and massages are given to mother and baby and they are both kept inside and away from the public to just rest and bond. How beautiful and peaceful does that sound??
I first learned about the concept of the first 40 days when I was pregnant with my son. I didn’t get to do the full 30 days just because we were in the middle of a job change and trying to move but my mom and husband were a huge help with making sure I rested, laundry was done, and everyone was fed.
This time around my church family created a meal train, which was a blessing in itself. We had stocked up on easy to prepare foods and household essentials and the kids remained in daycare although I was home on maternity leave. I got to spend most days in bed, sleeping and breastfeeding my baby. I showered and ate good foods and went back to bed with my baby. If anything was needed I would just create an Instacart order or Target Drive Up and my husband went to go grab the order.
When I felt up for it, I did light tasks around the house and ventured out of the house for brief trips no more than 2 hours at a time but we only went out on my time, not on anyone else’s. We limited the number of guests and when I felt like I was doing too much, I went back to rest.
And you’ll know when you are. For example, when I was overexerting myself instead of my bleeding lightening it got heavier and redder which is not supposed to happen. My stitches would feel agitated and I would even get headaches.
Instead of returning to my old ways, I developed new ways to honor the change my body had been through and included my baby in our new routine.
Like I’ve told everyone, postpartum just feels different this time around. Different in a good kind of way.
And I honestly believe it’s because I allowed myself to rest and recover from a life-changing event.
I know not everyone can do this but recruit family and friends that can help lighten the load. Don’t feel pressured to get it all done. It’s okay to leave some things untidy as you rest and recover. Honestly, that has been the hardest part for me.
However, a new balance will come. The most important thing is you and your baby at this time.
It’s so important to ask for help during this time.
If you got to honor your first 30 or 40 days after your baby, tell me about your experience below. I would love to hear about it!
Also, here are my top books you should read throughout pregnancy and your postpartum journey.
Love & light,
Jalesa